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GIVING During GRIEVING

7/23/2014

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"So it's true, when all is said and done grief is the price we pay for love."
E. A. Bucchianere

This is difficult to write because I would like to ignore the feelings I have but that doesn't make them go away, unfortunately. The last several months have been immensely hard for several people close to me, as a result of the death of a beloved person or animal. I remind myself that it didn't happen "directly" to me and it is my wish and obligation to be available and understanding to these people I care for.

Easier said than done I am finding. Other than the usual condolences in words and actions we are often at a loss. Our grieving friend or family member is not giving us very many clues as to what they might need from us. It's a difficult balance and I remain fearful of doing too much, too little or the absolute wrong thing. I speak from experience, as I have done all the above recently. Of course, with the best of intentions, but it's a tough call. Everyone is different in how they grieve, what they need (or not). They may not be acting like the person you knew before their life was upended. They don't know how they will be feeling or what they may need from moment to moment so how can they let you know. And once you go about guessing or doing what you imagine you might like in their position you may get it all wrong.


Bumbling through this process, thus far, I have learned:

1.  From what I've read the "Stages of Grief" appears to be debunked in many ways, surprisingly led by the person who came up with the theory originally. The consensus seems to be that grief does share common themes but it is not "one size fits all". It is unpredictable, random and highly personal.

2.  Emotional numbness, irritation, anger, depression, oppositional behaviors, health issues etc. can all part of the grieving person's process...DO NOT take it personally or think you can fix it. No matter how much you may want to be a part of it, it is their personal journey and you are in a support position.

3.  Ideally listening should comprise 80% of what you do during this time and at times another 20%. Advice is not what they are usually looking for but a listening ear, a soft shoulder, an open heart and your presence when they desire it. My sister gave me some good advice saying, " It's all about them right now, it is not about you." When possible giving them healthy distractions may be helpful....a walk, a home cooked meal, a game, a movie, whatever will give them a break from the stress of grieving and remind them that there is still goodness and light in the world. Help them make good choices if they will allow it.

4.  NO cliche' remarks like...."They lived a good life." "Move on." "Time heals all wounds." There are a million of them! Time is a great healer but it has no timetable and this loss will remain with them on some level always.

5.  Do not expect the grieving person to relate to you in the ways you are accustomed to. They will not be their same sparkling self, they will engage in fuzzy thinking, numbed emotions and uncharacteristic ways of acting. You may feel shut out of the process or they may become needy, cranky and difficult to get along with. They may pick fights over small issues, push you away, engage in destructive behaviors or retreat from you altogether. Allowing you close may look to them as another opportunity to be hurt in the future.

6.  Stay calm and patient. Necessary, but challenging, as you are hurting for them and this may also be a loss for you, just not of the same magnitude as they are experiencing. Supporting a loved one through this is draining for you and you are probably not receiving much in return. They are struggling through each day coping with their sorrow and loss and have little or nothing to give back.

7.  Take care of yourself, whatever that means for you. Giving yourself a break from them, putting yourself in the presence of more joyful people, exercising, meditating, reading. Use anything you know that will bolster your mental and physical health. Your ability to care for them is dependent on being your best self which relates to how much you are capable of giving, understanding and being patient. 


8.  In most cases this particular state will not last forever, although, they will be forever changed by this loss. They will laugh again, be able to love again, be present again.....but on their own timetable NOT yours.

8.  As often as I beat myself up about fumbling through this it's important to give ourselves a break. You do your best even though it may not be right, or perfect or it could be just plain wrong. What worked for one person in the past may be the entirely wrong approach with another. Being mindful as you implement the trial and error method is about the best one can do.

9.  If being supportive is causing you too much pain or if they cross over to being abusive you can draw a line. Remove yourself if you have to, suggest counseling or get some yourself. Let them know you will be there for them when they can, at the very least, treat you respectfully.

10.  This will happen to all of us at some time, either personally or once removed. It is the natural way of life, the coin with the sides "joy and sorrow".


"You can't rush grief. It has its own timetable. All you can do is make sure there are lots of soft places around...beds, pillows, arms, laps."
Patti Davis
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The PRESENT of PRESENCE

7/9/2014

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"When you love someone the best thing you can offer is your PRESENCE. How can you love if you are not there?
Thich Nhat Hanh


One the greatest gifts we can give is our presence...in our families, at our place of work, in our community, to our friends and partners.
Sometimes that's the BEST thing another can give. It's better than any material gift. I've been humming "The best things in life are free" today.

For another to sit with you, give their undivided attention, caring and time is invaluable. To truly be present for others is difficult at times and perhaps becoming more and more scarce these days. When a family member calls rather than emails or texts and genuinely wants to hear how you are....how special is that?  And what a comfort to sit across the table from an amazing friend who looks you steadily in the eye and hears every word you're saying.

A dear friend was over the other night and, although, I have always known her to be a spectacular friend it became clear to me why that is. She is a devoted health care professional and perhaps listening either came naturally to her or she learned her craft well, but she possesses the rare ability to be still and listen deeply and when appropriate ask just the right questions. I consider her one of the wisest people I know and depend on her to be present for me, listen carefully and then comment or ask the perfect question. She also is plain old great fun to be with, she laughs easily and often.  


We're all busy and can be distracted easily but it's terribly important to give that little bit of ourselves and our time, willingly and unconditionally to others. The ultimate gift...your presence.



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The Gift of Forgiveness

7/2/2014

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"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover the prisoner was you."
Lewis B. Smedes



Last night over wine on my patio one of the Entrepregeurls (see my page Kitchen Table Talk for explanation) and I had a very interesting and enlightening conversation. She is a wonderful friend whose wisdom and caring always touches me, comforts me and encourages me. Last night we talked of many important things but one in particular stayed with me and I want to write about it.

It's often difficult and it takes time to forgive depending on the action begging forgiveness. It can be something as small as someone pulling in front of you in traffic or as large as infidelity, divorce or emotional or physical abuse in your past experiences. Large or small, not being able or not choosing to forgive takes a greater toll on you than it does the perpetrator.

So what I'm suggesting is as quickly as you can forgive the person who cut you off in traffic, the rude sales person or the neighbor who is setting off fireworks at midnight when you're trying to sleep (it's July 3rd) the healthier it will be for you. Holding on to resentment, anger and hurt drags you down. Those are heavy burdens. It's negative energy that lessens your ability to enjoy life. Lighten your load. Set those burdens down. Give yourself the gift of forgiveness.

Often the feelings of hurt or betrayal are so deep they are too big to handle on one's own and need to be discussed with a professional. And you may never forget but it may be possible to forgive.

Sometimes it helps me to empathize with the person who has annoyed or hurt me. When it's possible, try to see that it may have been an inadvertent slight or that person was having a bad day and you happened to walk into their mess. With the people closest to us we can often see that their wounding of us comes more from their own feelings of pain or unworthiness. They did not deal with their own pain and it spilled over and hurt someone else.
It was not intentional. One does wish we could all be so self-aware that we never hurt others with our unfinished business. We can work on it.

For the smaller transgressions, the ones that don't alter our lives one way or another, I say, "Give it up!" Forgive quickly and completely and move on.

I want to end with, forgive ourselves. When we don't quite measure up to our own expectations...forgive. When we don't always say or do the right thing...forgive. When we let ourselves or someone else down...forgive and try to do better next time.


That's what my dear friend and I did on a warm July night over wine on the patio.



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TAKING CARE OF WHAT WE HAVE

5/23/2014

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"Our body has a defect that the more it is provided care and comforts, the more needs and desires it finds."
St. Teresa of Avila


Perhaps this is not a new trend and has been going on for years and I have just become more sensitive to it but I notice more and more that often people don't care for the possessions they own. You see bikes left out in the rain, cars that are used as traveling closets and garbage cans, expensive electronic devices carelessly lost or left in precarious locations. The list is endless.

Granted I work around and have lived with several teenagers but it makes me wonder what messages our culture is giving the young and the rest of us, that it's okay to not take care of your stuff. As many of our possessions seem to be nearly programmed to be disposable the other not particularly disposable items are being treated in the same fashion.

Is it because we have too much stuff and neither the time nor inclination to take care of what we do have? Perhaps. Have we moved so far beyond being grateful for all we possess? Are we spoiled, oblivious, self centered? Maybe.

As I've aged I have become more of a minimalist. Desiring fewer and fewer possessions and divesting myself of more and more. Is it my age or my disposition at this age that wants less quantity, more quality.

This phenomenon even goes so far as the relationships we have and give up on so easily. Are people becoming disposable also? Are we not taking the time to take care of the relationships we do have? Are we opting out when it gets uncomfortable and going out and acquiring a new one to replace the older, less shiny model? Like a scuffed pair of shoes do we let them sit idle in the back of the closet or toss them in the trash? Or do we pull them out dust them off and give them a good shine.

I have a bone to pick with all of us who, first of all have too much stuff and secondly, if we're going to have all this stuff... we need to take care of it. Don't let it go into disrepair, gather dust, become unused, uncared for. Same goes for the people in our lives.

My rant for the day. Thanks for reading!

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RAD GRAD GIFTS

5/8/2014

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"You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.
You're on your own.
And you know what you know.
You are the guy who'll decide where to go."
Dr. Seuss

As the graduate goes out into the world give them something to take with them that has meaning or inspires them. And if you can't come up with a great idea there's always CASH! Because I work from a pretty tight budget I am always looking for creative and thoughtful ideas that don't require a lot of $$ when a gift is in order.

Love this gift that a friend made for her son when he graduated from high school and was off to college, far away from home. Over the course of a couple of years she squirreled away several of her son's favorite and well worn t-shirts. She's an excellent seamstress and was able to turn the tattered tees into a smashing, soft quilt that would continually be a reminder of past memories and Home. If you're not a sewer (that's sew-er, not sewer as in waste water) yourself I'm sure you could find someone to convert cast offs into an heirloom.

I made a scrap book of my son's high school years for his graduation. It held not only photos but invitations, programs from plays and anything else I could find that would stir memories for him. I guess it did. He's been out of high school for over a decade and I noticed, not too long ago, that it sits on a shelf in his "Man Cave".

A video history for the graduate would be great too. Piecing together all the video of the high school years or their whole life would be a keepsake they would treasure.

I am going to mention again my "Go To" gift solution...Quotes in a Box. It's fun to choose 12 quotations for the high school grad, more for the college graduate. One quote for each year of school. You will, of course, choose the quotes that you know will hold the most meaning or be inspirational to the recipient. Find a great box at a discount home store or antique/second-hand store to hold the hand-picked quotes. (Feel free to refer to the quote page here on this site.)

If you do give $$$ do so creatively. How about buying a pizza crust in the box and covering it with $$$ and layer in a few coins as the topping. Perhaps this is an out moded expression but I heard it many times growing up..."Money doesn't grow on trees." Well, maybe just this one time. Roll up bills and attach them with colorful ribbon to a small potted tree.

This last idea is more extravagant and incredibly thoughtful. My sister and brother-in-law don't have their own children but are very close with their nieces and nephews. They gave my son and his cousin, who graduated from high school the same year, a trip to Washington D.C. with them. They went right after graduation and stayed for a week. There are stories still being told about that memory making trip. Oh, the adventures they had in our nation's capitol! Everything from plumbing disasters and record heat to theater, food, museums, monuments, boat rides on the Potomac, getting lost and eventually found. My sister kept quite an extensive journal of the trip and had it bound for them when they returned home. What a great celebration of a milestone in a young person's life combined with the joy of family.

Congratulations to all the grads out there....best wishes for your future.





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WELCOMING BABY

3/26/2014

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"Babies are such a sweet and nice way to start people."
Unknown


I became a GREAT AUNT this week for the first time, my sister a GRANDMOTHER and my mother a GREAT GRANDMOTHER. A new generation has begun! Thrilled to pieces for my nephew, his wife and my sister's family and so happy for my brand new GREAT NEPHEW who was born into a GREAT family. Now as I mull over what I would like to give them to acknowledge the new arrival I returned to this blog to find a GREAT idea and Congratulate, C and K.
 

Below are several ideas for baby gifts:


-An attractive box with information of the day the child was born…newspaper from that day, magazines from the week

-A frame for the hospital photo

-Videos of mother, father and baby leaving the hospital and the family welcoming them home

-Coins from the year of the birth in a cloth bag or attractive box suitable as a keepsake

-Champagne or wine that will mature the year they turn 21

-Research the baby’s name and give a history of the name, it’s origins and meaning

-Stock in a sustainable company

-Money to open a savings account

-Savings bond

-Donation in the name of the child to UNICEF, Easter Seal Society, a children’s museum or any other non-profit serving children

-Journal for recording baby’s “firsts”

-Tree or bush planted in the family’s yard to commemorate the birth

In Switzerland it is customary to plant an apple tree for a boy and a pear tree for a girl. In Israel trees are planted at birth; cedar for boys and cyprus or pine for a girl. Later it is cut at their marriage to make the posts of the wedding canopy.

-Bank with money inside

-First flowers-A small bouquet or nosegay, given with the intention that it become a keepsake.

Don’t forget a little something for the siblings of the newborn if they are quite young. Nothing large, just a small remembrance so they won’t feel left out of the festivities.




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BREAKING THE RULES....RULES!

3/4/2014

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"A work of art is the unique result of a unique temperment."
Oscar Wilde

While thinking about how to be sustainable, save $$$ and also be creative I began looking around my house for repurposed items, hoping for a bit of inspiration. It turns out many of the things in my home are not being used for their original purpose.

It seems I may be averse to using items for their intended purpose. Quite the rebel! Taking something beautiful, interesting or merely useful and re-working or re-using it in a new or unusual way is a great way to exercise your imagination and creativity and often save a bit of $$$.

From where I am sitting in my home I can see several items that I've re-purposed. There's a lovely gold and black ying/yang Chinese umbrella that I've hung over the TV as piece of art. The same with a vintage floral kimono that years ago I used as a beach cover-up. And, now, as I never go out in public in "beachwear" it hangs on a dowel over my couch, filling up a large space with another piece of three dimensional art.

In the above photo is a piece I picked up for $1.50 at a thrift store, gave it a coat of black paint, found the letters at a retail display store and continue to have fun with friends and family making up crazy menus based on famous people's names. It hangs in my kitchen.

Another piece in my kitchen is a retro Gourmet magazine from the month and year of my birth. I also made one for each of my sisters birthdays. In the bargain basement of a large old book store I found stacks of vintage magazines in amazing condition. I picked up several with dates that corresponded to the birth dates of friends and family. For the magazines that became gifts I found clear frames that encase them between two layers of lucite held together with magnets. They make thoughtful birthday gifts that are also beautiful conversation pieces for very little $$$.

Several years ago I found a very large and beautifully simple picture frame in a thrift store that was under $10. My brother is a master carpenter so I commissioned him to fill the frame with magnetized chalk board paint. He did a beautiful job and actually gave it back to me as a gift (no charge...Yay!). Now I can put all that "stuff" that clutters the refrigerator....photos, cards, invitations and reminders inside that frame and keep it under some semblance of control and have space to write notes. (It not a great idea to write on the refrigerator.)

While we're waiting for Spring to arrive, here are just a few ideas to brighten up your space with re-purposed items that are easy on the budget. Art is whatever we find interesting, entertaining or beautiful and we need not follow any rules in our own home. Go nuts!






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The Gift of DOG

2/15/2014

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"A dog doesn't care if you're rich or poor, big or small, young or old. He doesn't care if you're not smart, not popular, not a good joke-teller, the the best athlete, nor the best looking person. To your dog, you are the greatest, the smartest, the nicest human being who was ever born. You are his friend and protector."
Louis Sabin

(Repost because I'm a Dog Mood)
The company where my son works offered their employees a weekend at a lovely resort lodge for a very small portion of what it ordinarily would have cost. As it was my son and daughter-in-law's fifth wedding anniversary over the weekend they accepted the generous offer and took off Friday afternoon to travel the 4-5 hours north to spend the weekend.

A little over half way through their journey a dog ran out into the lanes on the interstate. He was obviously lost, frightened and frantic as he ran in and out of traffic. The kids have a dog and and are dog lovers and there was no way they could go on unless they made an effort to save the dog.

My daughter-in-law was driving and took the next turn-out into the median. She hopped out, the dog fortunately came to her with little coaxing and she cleverly took the scarf she was wearing and made a slip knot out of it for a leash as he had no collar. The dog came willingly, they got him into the car and went to the nearest animal shelter. They got the distinct impression that if left there the dog would be put down and they couldn't let that happen so they learned of another shelter close to their destination and headed there.

Arriving at the second shelter they were turned away because the dog was not found in the shelter's jurisdiction. I talked to my son and his wife at this point and they had already bonded with Rupert. They named him Rupert because that was the name of the closest town to where they found him. He was a medium size, longer haired herding breed.They both raved about how sweet Rupert was. He had ridden with his head in my daughter-in-law's lap in the back seat while she pulled burrs out of his black and white coat. 

They barely made it to the company sponsored dinner and did their best all evening to find a permanent or even a temporary home for the lost pooch. They got no takers so had to forgo their lodge accommodations for a motel room that was not nearly as nice but did allow man's best friend. They decided to come home the next morning as they had already started a Facebook campaign to find a home for Rupert and it was looking like they had sparked some interest.

So after one short evening and breakfast the next morning my son and daughter-in-law made the return trip home, their new charge in tow. No hiking, shopping or mountain biking for them they were on their way back to find a home for Rupert.

By 10:00 Sunday morning a friend from Facebook arrived with her 6 year old daughter and fell in love with Rupert as everyone else had over the course of the last 2 days. The new 6 year old owner declared that, "Now I have a brother." It was love at first sight.

During and since I have not heard a word about a ruined weekend a disappointing anniversary celebration from either my son or his wife. They feel really good about saving the little guys life and finding him a loving family. I feel good because I'm related to such wonderful people who give me great blog fodder.

It's been a few days so we checked Facebook to see how Rupert was doing. His new owner is saying things like "Best dog ever!" In the photos he appears to have fit into the family perfectly and in one is sporting his Halloween costume. Rupert is going to be a turtle for Halloween! He looks so comfortable in his get-up, it makes you wonder if dressing up is something Rupert did a lot of in his past.  And as the result of a question I had a while ago I happen to have learned the symbolism of the turtle and it's so perfect for Rupert.

In some mythologies the turtle shell is a symbol of heaven, the square underneath represents earth. A reminder that the way to heaven is through earth and to be aware of our connection to all things. A good number of Native Americans believe the turtle to represent steadfastness and longevity...the ability to withstand whatever misfortunes life may bring. Which with the help of two caring people Rupert withstood a major hardship and is now in the hands of a loving mom and "Sister" who already have him decked out for his first holiday with them.



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TONE DOWN V-DAY

2/9/2014

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I've been putting this particular blog off but I guess it's time to write about V-day, as we've seen V-day merchandise in the stores since the day after Christmas. It's been around for so long it seems like it should be over by now, but regrettably no.

Do I sound like I have an attitude about V-day? I guess I probably do have a problem with how this holiday, along with every other one that has morphed into something so blown out of proportion it's hard to recognize it anymore. One thing I'm not going to do is try to give you any ideas for gifts. One only has to step outside one's door, open your email or newspaper or turn on the TV to be bombarded with everything under the sun that's Valentines.

V-Day makes me nostalgic for the simplicity of the way things were when I was a kid. Making Valentines and the box in which to receive them. And there was the "most beautiful" thing I had ever seen up to that point in my life....the gigantic red satin heart-shaped box of chocolates my father always gave my mother. Marshmallow hearts encased in cheap chocolate and red hots that stuck to everything were enjoyed while you pondered the cryptic message of a Valentine given to you by that "certain someone".

Now that V-day has become overly commercialized and highjacked by retailers it too often is about the "stuff" and often the true meaning gets trampled by weeks of hype and tons of red and pink crap that no one needs or wants. I am not picking on retail business, everyone has to make a living and I have been a retailer myself but, jeez it's gotten so over the top. Valentine's wreaths and toilet paper with hearts??

Let's make it simpler this year, turn down the expectations and turn up the love. Love, of all things, cannot be measured by the $$$ you spend but by the energy and thought that goes into a gift or card and most of all the quality of the time spent with loved ones.

And if you're single give yourself a break from feeling that you are one of the few out there with no Valentine. Ignore this day (if at all possible)...tell yourself it's a silly holiday concocted by card companies and florists. To a great extend that's true.

Love is something to be experienced everyday not just on February 14.
And love is not just for "Lovers", it's for everyone.
Love yourself. Love of self is where all other love begins.

No matter how we choose to celebrate this V-day (or not) it's all about the.....

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GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK

1/19/2014

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"Promise me you'll always remember:
You're braver than you believe,
and stronger than you seem and smarter than you think."
Christopher Robin to Pooh
A.A. Milne

Hard to say what makes it difficult to think as well of ourselves as others think of us. We're usually our own worst critic. And sometimes that's fine. Putting ourselves under the microscope has it's value if it inspires growth and positive change. But if being critical of ourselves is merely making us feel less than, or depressed and bad about ourselves...time to give ourselves a break.

In this my hibernating time of year I tend to get a little down on myself, finding myself to be a little bored and boring. Then I'm really down on myself because I think it's my own damn fault if I'm bored and/or boring. There's just no excuse for it in the world we live in, with books, movies, TV, internet and so on and so on. We should be bemoaning the fact that there are too few hours in the day to do all the wonderful and exciting things that are available to us.

To counteract this dull feeling I have been regularly visiting the library and bringing home arm loads of books. Most of them are scanned but not read. But...Oh...the few that I read have been amazing. They have helped pull me out of my funk. Some might call them "self help" books and I dislike that term very much. The bad apples of the genre have spoiled the barrel for many people. There are many, many valuable and remarkable books that can help us along our way.

Yesterday I "cleaned a drawer"......Ta-Da!! It doesn't sound like much but it's been bothering me for years. The junk drawer we all have was way overdue and every time I opened it I cursed myself and and the chore grew to huge proportions. It took about an hour and the satisfaction I felt was well worth the time. Those little "rat's nests" we all have in our homes or offices weigh on us in ways that we may not be aware of.

At the beginning of a New Year we often have extraordinarily high ideals for the changes we'd like to see in our lives. They can be the breaking of bad habits or planning for big changes in our lives. We are not alone in our inability to carry through with many or most of these resolutions. Perhaps we shoot too high.
Change is difficult, it takes energy and resolve. Sometimes we have it sometimes we don't. When we fail, we often give up entirely and berate ourselves for our lack of follow through.

Purposely I did not make any resolutions this year. Instead I am trying for moderation in all things. Habits I would like to see gone I am accepting to a degree and keeping them moderate. To ban chocolate or wine from my life would cause anxiety but allowing it into my life in moderation seems reasonable.
Overlaying good habits onto our lives like walking up the stairs instead of taking the elevator or keeping healthy snacks around instead of chips and sodas can eventually add up to some wonderful life changes. Give yourself credit for small victories. Replacing that soda for a glass of water with a spritz of lemon is good enough for today. Cleaning just one drawer can be the boost you need to carry you to the next level.

I speak to all of us when I suggest we keep our expectations reasonable and small enough to actually experience some success. And even then if we face a failure don't beat ourselves up. There's always tomorrow.
Make the changes "bite size" pieces not sweeping grandiose schemes that may be doomed from the beginning. Use the small successes to build on the next ones. Yesterday I did Yoga and meditated when I could have been messing about on the computer. Today I am tackling the cleaning of the pantry. I did not have that glass of wine last night but instead a cup of tasty herbal tea. I will take a walk this afternoon rather than turn on the TV. Small but hopefully significant actions that will eventually stick and become part of new rituals. Actions that will add to our love of self not take away.

Wishing all of us health, happiness and peace of mind in the New Year. Be kind to yourself.









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